yakkkk

okay i hav nothin else to rite i have spilled all my thoughts in this stupid blog 2 now and both times this they have been unsaved therfore lost forever for none to read or see for me to never remember those thooughts again i am glad though i damn lost my self concentration due to those dman teachers!! i hate them well for now neway i don't think i'v ever hated someone like i hated that person i don't want to talk of that but maybe one day i will and everything will be fine and i can be who i am in reality rather than being this person every1 thinks they know and understand because they don't and they will never know or understand this is where i think i should stop and start a fresh life i mean how long should i live in this foresaken skin where i cannot bear to be who i really am and that's a caring, friendly, sometimes judgemental not so psycho sexcrazed gal!!!

i have had times where i do feel a bit "fake" and want to tell the truth and say it like it is but i find myself surronded by ppl whom have grown to know and love this girl i am love i don't really believe that i could do so many things and still i would not find love around them why because i don't want to allow it to happen i find these days i just can't wait to go to uni and be myself be who i think I AM? but then i must atleast be a part of this character i play in this world because i don't know any different until i am on my own and begin to ponder of the things i maight have felt if only...........

i should not be sad i should go on top of abuilding and shout out with joy as i do love life but i do wonder if life wants me? i see them on the bus i see them in my head i see them in my sleep but i can not have them for they don't know or want me! but is this just a thought to myself or is this reality could this be what i really believe to be true or is it that i have allowed my self to enjoy the comfort of being alone??????