Let me Explain

Be Strong...Be Powerful...Be Graceful...Be Sexy...Be an Angel and SMILE ALOT!!! - I'm gonna try

Its been a hard decision and ive rarely thought about it but it seems to be the best option for me. I am forgoing all studies at Flinders University and not coming back any time soon. This was a rushed decision that became clear straight after my assignment was underway. Believe me i tried and i am not one to give up, i searched, asked for help, tried so many times to attempt the questions but it is obvious that i have no idea what i am doing here besides wasting my money and time. Actually just wasting my money becuz i really do enjoy spending my time at uni learning and socializing with others.

ahh i rote that last week and i still feel really strongly about the decision i have come to make. I am postponing my studies and not returning until i feel that i am ready to study properly and if that is never then don't hate me. I had my first breakdown last week! It was weird everything was find i had bottled things up and then....well that was the last straw and i yelled, i smirked and broke down in tears. It is true i also disrespectd but i had to say what was on my mind and i thought that i would never be forgiven but i didn't have to be everyting i said was true and most of what was said back was true. Ofcourse i could never tell them that. I realised i don't know what i want but i do know this "study right now is not the best thing for ME, it was the best thing at the time but not for me". I just decided to come to Uni becuz well there was nothing else...and still there is nothing else xpt for me wanting to stop and look around my environment to see where i want to be this time next year. I want to do something where i am being trained while working, studying is no fun if no one is pushing you and i don't feel that uni does that for me. Mostly becuz your spose to be independant and all that jazz but i love been told what to do, when, where and exactly how. My last assignment i didn't finish and it was due to my stupidity and laziness, i could've done it, hell i got up early the day it was due just to help my friend yet i couldn't help myself. Ahh life is funny but i'v been feeling better lately and sleeping a whole lot of more! I want to finish the semester of Spanish but i am withdrawing from all other subjects.

This morning i got a message from Chandra and i felt bad replying that i would no longer be around or seeing him coz even tho he was bossy he was a good friend. Ciao Ciao