Oh the relief of venting

okay i've decided for some reason that i wanted to let something come out, something that maybe everyone kinda had a clue on but i've never discussed the reasons or if it was true.

.....yes i have decided to rite about my shocking weightloss which started last year. Wow i had everyting scripted in my mind as to how i was going to rite this but oh well i'll just fluke it now. Okay so i do realise that last year i did a lot A LOT of weight and that it might have seen like i did have an eating disorder but the fact of the matter is that i actually lost that weight i belive normally i mean i didn't not eat coz i was afraid of putting on weight i didn't eat coz i wasn't hungry believe me i ate the right foods the reason was mainly coz i excercised i walked to school, colonnades and why???? mainly coz i didn't want to waste bus trips when i could walk but also i know that it was becuz of my competetive side coming out. I don't really want to blame anyone in particular as they weren't really the reason for my decision to lose a few kilos. Everyone always says that i look different and i'm not that same girl that i use to be with a "glee" in my eye and let me tell you guys someting...i'm loving that i'm not that gullible, naive girl that was severly and i mean really depressed through out my whoooolllleee entire time at high school until i got to year 11. I did things that some of you mite seriously not believe before this time and acted in such ways that are seriously disgusting and i am so glad that i have left those ppl and things in the past! When i think about things i just get disgusted and really feel dirty. Now for those of you who might say you know me i'm sorry coz you don't really theres a huuuugeee part of my life i keep hidden and i just wish that in a way i had never come to Australia! Its hard to explain things to ppl that belive my life is fine and they'll just bitch about how i'm trying to make ppl feel sorrry for me yada yada yada but thats not at all true i'm doing this for myself, so that later in life i can look back and now that i did look things in the eye and face it. I believe that if i was still in El Salvador close to my grandmother so many things would not have happened to me as they severly did when i moved here.

Losing weight wasn't really the main reason for my new lease of life but actually not letting someone win the battle, i guess this showed me how i'll do anything to not let others beat me. But it was also a thing for me coz i knew i wasn't happy and yeah it actually did make a difference i am a lot more happy and confident in my self becuz i actually believe in myself, i know i can do things and it made me a whole lot more active and healthy. But things have changed since then aswell i mean i have put on weight mainly becuz my thyroid has cleared up and coz i haven't been as rushed to get moving. The other clinger in my life to lose weght was ofcourse formal what can i say this was the one that was the fundamental reason for it why? i wanted to look good in my dress and i did! Believe me losing weight was never an eating disorder for me like i didn't throw up or starve myself contrary to what the majorety of ppl thought if i was hungry i did eat but i just didn't eat sugar and i love everyting that i ate.

Okay well i better go now wow that sums it up pretty well and i can't belive it's just two paragraphs in length! mwah ppl love you all for caring