Inevitable is life

It is happening and as much as i was looking forward toward it is amazing how i'm already starting to feel hollow and scared. Scared of the fact that if i leave i may never see half my friends ever again!

My mother has signed the paper work and with a few more touch ups by Sunday this week we will start to pack and leave the house i have lived in for nearly 10 years! That is soo long and i don't think i could ever leave it without feeling something for it. It is the thing that made me crazy, laugh and cry it is the thing that was stable in my life and the place i could go back to and not worry that i had to be shy or uncomfortable. I know it sounds ridiculious but this that was my home it is my home it is where i was raised to be who i am today. It is where my friends use to sleep, hell lets not beat around the bush it was where i walked around in my underwear rarely naked. My room is where i had D&M's with Rekha, Marcus, Phoebe and Vicki on the phone, oh gosh i have to leave it all! I think that i'm going to have this uneasy feeling all day every week. So i know that the thing i will miss is my house but i've come to realise it will be the place mostly i mean even though it's a rough neighbourhood it's MY neighbourhood! sob sob.....

I know that the other things that i will be miss dearly and forever are my friends. You are never complete without friends, without friends you are nothing just a person and i have been blessed with the best of friends especially one that i have had for over 5 years of course it's Marcus. Hon i love you too and believe me it's hard knowing that i have to leave you, it seemed to me that everything was going to be easy like it is now but it really isn't we have to wake up becuz everything is really changing. And in a way that is great but it also means that i have to move away from you but ofcourse it doesn't mean that i can't have contact with you. Like i've told you before Mr you are never ever never going to get rid of me that eaasily. I love you too much and have such a strong bond to you that no one can ever break no matter what they say becuz hon you are my best friend and as much as people try no one will break that cuz if they do i'l flick them preetty hard! hehe

Emma darling Emma i can't believe we just started being really good mates only late last year if i had known you were so much fun i would have left Estrella ages ago! Emma you are also my best friend but in a diff way i can tell you other stuff stuff that is just stupid and sometimes crazy yet you find it funny and thats why i love you. You think everything i say is funny even though i know it isn't it's nice to have someone laugh at the meaningless jokes therefore i have made my mind up i will call you up every day and tell you a stupid joke or make a stupid noise. YOU better answer missy other wise theres gonna be trouble especially if chairs are around. No seriously you are a great friend and i am glad we were able to be closer. Thanx love and i will cya next year. MWAH!

Well chickies i have to go my bus is coming soon hope you all enjoy ya holz and have the best xmas and new years and make the most of this year coz i have a feeling next year won't be nothing like any other!!!!!