Just like heaven or is that like a dream? Oh so sweet

Awww this was like my fave part out of the whole thing and when he tried to save her!!! You must see this movie you'r life depends on you knowing these feelings!! heheh nah really its a great film you have to go see it.

P.S are we ever going to the moonlight cinema coz i know a free one and it's in Modbury but you have to take your own blanket. Mwah

Proof of Age denied?!

heheh

Yeah Yeah that's rite i was denied my proof of age card...Bastards! heheh no i have to go back tomorrow and get all these crappy documents so i can finally next week hold my entry to everything! (Imagine Spongebob with his cute baby watery eyes coz thats how i feel!)

Well i never wrote about my xmas fun did i, xcept that it was good but not extremely great. Well lets see after my close time with my family which i enjoyed tremendously..nerd. heh i went to the movies with my chicky babes and Emz and Stacey heheh Nah i went with Marcus,Emz, Martino and Staceyca. It was cute, i got the best pressie from Marcus that's rite ppl Arrested Development it's like not only my fav show thats rite. And really cute graceful swan from stacey coz i am a truly graceful gal..Shut up! And lastly from my beautiful kind gentle giant Emz i got a voucher for Diva which i have to use up by purchasing a wide range of earrings. Yes and lipglosses which i am infact wearing now. Franckly my dear i don't give a damn but i believe these are my most cherished pressies coz they may be the last we give to eachother. Sob Sob

Well ppl i must be going, Bubble Tea doesn't drink itself you know.

Oh by the way i feel sooo bad to know this but Tess might be given the flick. Apparently she's too much of a smarty pants, plays volleyball.... i know i know and doesn't use her own initiative. Poor thing and to think she was starting to grow on me huh. heheh i will miss her well until Amy comes back, or i get a new job.

Addicted

I am soooo happy? Is that what i feel? Oh ah eh yes yes it is, strange but yes this feeling i have is happiness!!!! Okay you mite think that i'm always happy but let me tell you something half the time i lie. Anywho i found myself this xmas week to have been extremely happy about where i am in life, no matter the anger that others have put me through i am content with my amount of happyness becuz to be honest the week didn't live upto my expectation. Which was tooo overrated but somehow i still found myself being happy with the events that unfolded around me.

My boss gave me flowers and a card, which i think is soooo sweet becuz i thought she didn't like me, i got along with others even when confrontations happened and i actually enjoyed living my life. I think i am comfortable in the city. No akwardness of any kind has happened to me and i am really likin my house.....life is great and i my friends is going to enjoy this exquisite feeling inside!

Feliz Navidad, Happy Hannukah, Merry Christmas

PalpitationsHeat intoleranceNervousnessInsomniaBreathlessnessIncreased bowel movementsLight or absent menstrual periodsFatigueFast heart rateTrembling handsWeight lossMuscle weaknessWarm moist skinHair lossStaring gaze. are sypmtons of my thyroid thingo

okay i'm gonna get going now. Just wnted to say that Santa brought me to the city today, what a character that one was!!! heheh He was my bus driver for the day but i don't know if he was too happy being stuck in a bus. Ciao Loverz Enjoy your christmas

And i heard 'em Say.....

Kanye West)
And I heard 'em say
nothin's ever promised tomorrow, today
From the Chi, Like Tim, it's a Hardaway
till this is in the name of love, like robert say
Before you ask me to go get a job today,
can I at least get a raise on the minimum wage?
And I know the government administer aids,
So I guess we just pray like the minister say
Abu Akhbar be throwin' some hot cause
things we seein' on the screen not ours
but these niggas from the hood, so these dreams not far
where I'm from the dope boys is the rock stars
but they can't cop cars without seein' cop cars
I guess they want us all behind bars, I know it, uh

Chorus:
And I heard 'em say, nothin's ever promised tomorrow, today
And I heard 'em say, nothin's ever promised tomorrow today
But we'll find a way
(Adam Levine)
And nothin' lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts, but it may be the only way

(Kanye West)
They say people in your life for seasons
And anything that happen is for a reason
And niggas gun-clappin' and keep to squeezin'
And gran' keep prayin' and keep believin'
In Jesus, and one day that she'll see him
Till then in walk his footsteps and try to be him,
The devil is alive, I feel him breathin'
Claimin' money is the key, so keep on dreamin'
And put them lottery tickets just to tease us
My Aunt Pam can't put them cigarettes down,
So now my lil' cousin smokin' them cigarettes now
His job try to claim that he too niggerish now
Is it cuz his skin blacker than licorice now?
I can't figure it out, sick of it now,

Chorus:
And I heard 'em say, nothin's ever promised tomorrow, today
And I heard 'em say, nothin's ever promised tomorrow today
But we'll find a way
(Adam Levine)
And nothin' lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts, but it may be the only way

(Adam Levine)
With every worthless word we get more far away
And nothin's ever promised tomorrow, today
And nothin lasts forever, but be honest, babe
It hurts, but it may be the only way

Hootay!!!!!! this is my kind of bloke!!!!!!!!

I love Adam Levine oh he is so devine!! heheh

Operation Thyroid

so i went to the doctors last week to get my blood checked and i yesterday i went back for results. I thought he was going to say that i was fine as they always do and to my horror he said that i may need an operation in my throat. I have a Thyroid problem that is making me lose weight as it is making me have more energy.(See i wasn't starving myself!!!). Ne who the noid that is making too many hormones has to come out otherwise it will make me too thin, my eyes could pop out and i would be non stop shaking. It's horrible so next week i'm going to Ashford to get it scanned and hopefully he is wrong. My cousin boyf said that if it isn't performed properly it could give me cancer so i am very scared!!!!! The thyroid controls your hormones and it is basically speeding up my metabolism which is making me fuller after just Lunch.

On to lighter news......wait i have none. Ciao Loverz

P.s i wrote this before but i navigated away so i had to rewrite it therefore its not informative as the last one sorry.

Tertiary Entrance Rank: 65.95

Wow that is soooo crap i hate it!!! I don't think i wna go around telling ppl my score you know it's a bit crap and all.

So i went shopping on Sunday after my day of emotions and also to the movies with my two fav ppls Marcus and Emz. It was good i bought my fav icecream from cold rock with brownie mmm brownie!!! heheh

Work is going a bit better excpt i feel bad becuz i've now committed myself to working there which is crap coz i don't wna but i can't be rude now can i? Plus the pay is fantastic!!!! so christmas is only a few days away and i only have my sisters pressie that is soo bad i know, but if you know me you know that aint out of the norm. I usually do everything at the last minute. I'm glad that theres a new girl at work besides me. Her name is Tess and she is really sweet and she's the same age well younger she's 17 heheh. It's good coz i'm not the only one that gets picked on but i think Nicole is starting to get really peed of with me and i don't understand why. I come into work everyday at 12 and everyone is on my case about my speed, it's like they all talked about it had an arguement and are taking it out on me. Bloody women. Nah at times i love it becuz oh my gosh the hottest guys come through. I mean these are actual good looking blokes with good jobs and there sooo freaken hot. amy and i use to just look at eachother and know yeah his hot!!! heheh She's gone to Queensland til next year so i'll miss her coz she was nice xpt for that day she got angry with me but then i later found out it was becuz she wasn't feeling well. I got sent to the toilet to check on her so she got angry even though i told her i didn't really care and i was sent there by my boss. she gave me a hug before she left so i was happy knowing she wasn't mad at me. As i said before her and i are sooo much alike it's not funny!!! It's like Trish all over again.

So it's xmaz soon i'm sooo excited especially since it's gona be really good even if i am working. Yeah i do celebrate xmaz on Sat if you didn't know it my cultural thingo. But i like it coz we open pressies at midnite its good. Then on mon i meet up with friends to see movies and then like out of nowhere comz New Years friends again. Wow time is going sooo fast actually talking about time i have to go now. Doctors appt in half and hour so remember to have a brilliant xmas and that it's not about the gifts wait who am i kidding it's all about the gifts!!!!!

Ciao Lovers and have a very merry christmas and a great new years coz i know i will.!!! Mwah

Moderate Feelings

So Saturday was s'pose to be a day of celebration you know my bday things and all but for some reason by the end i was weeping like a bubba!!!!

I don't know why i can't really explain the reason but i was hurt and had to let it out. I went into my bedroom and cried all night basically. Which was really stranged becuz i have not done that in a few months. While i was crying i was also thinking about my life. Like always i guess. I thought about how i'm 18 now and yess i am, shut up if you say otherwise. Well i'm eighteen and i started to think about things like i'm i too much of a dreamer? Do i really live in a Fantasy Island? I don't think i do but apparently that is the vibe i give out. I don't mean to act the way i do but that's who i am, I am trying to change some of me. The worst of me but it's hard. It's hard becuase this is all i've known the person i am today has had soo many changes that know i'm stuck like this becuz i don't want to change anther thing even though i know and others know that i need too! It's dandy that i belive in Love and dream about things that only i know of and what to become reality but i think this is why i get to the places and emotions.

These computers are soo freaken old!!! Well i have to go now i'm being kicked out of the women's centre coz i'm taking tooo long Ciao lovers

MY FIRST SATURDAY!!!

Wow it felt so good getting up this morning. I believe it was becuase i knew that i didn't have to go in to work i could take my time lying in bed, watching tv, watching music videos..It was GOOD!! So Katia the darling has given as a tv for xmas how sweeet now i can finally watch tv on a big sized tv. YAY!

Okay i'm gonna make a quiz and i hope ppl attempt it.


http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=051216202944-432116

diligent,sincere,persistent,respectful blah blah blah blah blah

Could i sound anymore like a boring nothing? My goodness out of all the things they could have said. Don't get me wrong i really like what they rote about me on my school refrence but at the same time it all sounds soooo boring and repetitive. Maybe that's coz thats all i am repetitive, same attitude, face, smile and actions. Boring, i think i need a big change, a really BIG change!!!

So i picked up my yearbook today as well when i went into skool this morning and it couldn't have been any cuter. I mean it's got me in it several times so i'm happy with that. I mean don't you hate when you buy things becuz you think you're going to be in it several times and then your not so you find you spent money on something that wasn't really worth it becuz you don't really care about the other people that are in it so you become resentful to the fact you bought it? Well i can happily say that i am quite happy with the Yearbook results. I especially like how the picture of Marcus and I are formal got in there along with three other lucky formal twosomes. I'm happy with the fact that my Year 12 photo is on the same as all my fav chickies and i'm hyped at the fact that my interview with the German kids is in there. I am not happy however with the fact he spelt my name wrong on that interview. hahe but all in all i am glad i contributed my 15mins on that yearbook you can really tell that without that time they would have been lost!!!

So i can't see, it's like the morning i woke up at Sam's on Sunday. My eyes are all blurry and glassy and my glasses aren't really helping. (This makes me sad at the fact i spent over alot of money on them!!!). We i ain't joking it's really hard to see, i can barely read what i am writing. So i as you might have figured out i slept over at Sammy's on Saturday and it was tres fun!!! I liked spending time with my two fav pals, Sam and Emz. It was good to just talk randomly. Or really to talk to them at all. I then met up with Marcus on Sunday to do random walking heheh.

I've got Emz chrissie pressie but i am returning it as i am not pleased with what it is, and franckly if i'm not pleased with it i aint giving it to her!! So i just have to buy Marcus's which i kinda know what it is but it may be hard to find, Martinos is a kiss!!! heheh and Staceys i know. This is gona be one hell of a boxing day i can tell. New Years should be even better hpefully.

I better be off now i need to go to my little nephews kindy graduation i mean as if i'm gona miss a milestone as big as this one!! I mean his finishing kindy ppl Kindy, which means his going to preschool next year. Sob Sob he is growing up tooo fast. His getting really tall and his only 5. Damn those growth spurts!!!. After that i hve work and my back i think may be resislient to pain after a few more weeks there i mean it's only strained now nothing too big.

Stephen is waiting

What the hell is Sam going on about? I don't like them!!! Freak. Man she let a stinker rip earlier.

Well i just wanted to write that to get to the rainbow you have to go thru the rain!!!!

Ciao MWAH

ps hey Martino finally you say "hello"!

Latte? Mugacino?

Hummm bloody woman boss. All i said was "wow thats still early" a finish at 5pm tomorrow and she started going off her head! I tell you what that is just one of the many reasons i would rather have a male employer. If i had said that to Scott or Wayne they would have been happy and made a joke. (I miss Maccas!!!!) Well not really i just miss the how easy the work was. The freakest thing happened today poor girly Amy (who i think Marcus would soooo fall for!) blacked out at work today. One minute she's making a sandwich the next you hear this big bang, see her smile with a daze and then just fall onto the floor! I tell you what that has never happened before and i was kinda scared, i thought she was kidding i'm not sure why? But it was something that was really unexpected and it was frightening. I have only known the girl for a while but have found that her and i are sooo much alike and that she is a very sweeet girl. Her mum came and took her home after 10mins but it was still schocking, i saw her crying in the office after it. Poor thing she is sooo lovely.

So i was thinking this morning about my friendships that i've made at school and have found that if i don't talk to those people by the end of this year i basically will never talk to them! The main reason being i don't like them and we had nothing to share. I was also thinking about how when i talk to my friends the conversations we have will either prove that are common bond for one another will grow stronger or just fade. Mainly becuz the conversations will be more different and we'll have to listen and learn about eachother more than if we were going to school talking about work or school. Now we'll talk about our lives and how they are. This will be good coz it'll be so much better knowing who i can seriously have a good long D&M with.

I have to go now MWAH

Transparent Faces

So i've been thinking bot what i want to do next year and i've decided i still don't know and as much as i hate people that have no goals i do but i don't know what kind. I want my licence becuase i want to go places and sit and watch. I want to go places on my own, i need to just sometimes just be there just sitting watching not do anything. I don't know why but i am fascinated by the world around me and how it came to be. This sadly doesn't mean that i like learning about it. I've decided i want to read more, I love reading it's sooo good i like how i can be more into a novel than a show or tv becuase it's more of a one on one thing. it's an exciting feeling knowing you feel the way you do just by reading some words. I want to get into either UniSA or Flinders to do International Business but frankly i'd rather go to UniSA and i want to leave South Australia for sometime and go find out how independent i am and how much i really need the things around me. I'm always taking advantage of what i have and i think i'm starting to get sick of it. I need to take a gooood look in the mirror and find out who i am in this world, where i fit and really where i want to be not only today but in the future! I'm starting to deprive myself of things that i shouldn't maybe becuz i feel like i don't deserve it and that's bullshit becuz we should all be able to spoil ourselves without feeling guilty!!!!!

And also i want what any other female wants to be wanted and love but hopefully that comes when i'm ready. I feel that just becuz i want it sooo much that i could end up getting hurt and then not being able to cope with what happens good or bad somehow i feel that i would wreck it. I don't trust my judgement when it comes to love, i find that i guard myself and only i know why and i don't like the reason. It is an old reason that needs to leave but ofcourse it is a story that needs to be told and will only be told to the one i will end up sharing my life and whole forever. They will help me overcome it and show me that i am now loved and that that matters no more becuz they will protect me and keep me safe from that ever happening again. I don't need a male to do that though i myself protect myself but it's great to have someone you can lean on, kiss, hug and just be able to tell the truth about anything becuz whats the point in you telling yourself what you already know? Its great to have someone listen to your nothings, whinges and annoying sayings yet it's also great to have a friend. But i can't tell my friends what i will one day tell my partner becuz it's tooo personal and deep and they are things that i want kept hidden until one day someone helps me reveal what they are. And that is how i will know that i have fallen in love when i can give myself to someone, my entire retarded self becuase i have many faces, layers like an onion so they need to be peeeled off carefully one by one.

Gosh do you think i gave enough of myself then?

Where is has it gone?

/My goodness is it just me or is time flying past? I mean it's already December and i feel like sleeping at Emz was the first time i've actually relaxed, layed down watched tv and just Meh'd all night. I don't know why though but when i'm working at the cafe it feels as though time draaagggs on. heheh Yeah it isn't very busy i like it that way but at the same time if you have nothing to do the easier you get in trouble.

So i did get in trouble yesterday for leaving early even though i always leave at two, i had a talking too and it was stupid to me anyway. I didn't mean anything by asking if i could leave at two i was merely asking a question not demanding to leave. Meh i don't think that the cafe life is for me i want to S.S (Stand and Scan). No matter what Beck says!

So i have to go soon i need to go to CntreLink. It is currently 9.17 on December 07th and i have nothing to do but work and sleep. Something i have been deprived on since school started and finished!

I am finding the new house better had a shower for the first time in there! It was good xpt the bloody water handles are like freaken stail they don't move, one day i will break my wrist trying to close it.

Ciao Mwah

Not that kind of Girl!

So the girls and Marcus couldn't sleep ova last nite coz you know someone robbed the house again(Stupid robbers), so i ended up sleeping at emz for the night.

I can't believe they went back just to still a crappy computer you can get at a garage sale for like 50 bucks. Dicks! I'm sorry to swear but that is just ridiculous i mean i don't comprehend what is sooo good about stealing other peoples property especially when you might know them?! Someone please tell me becuase i can't believe people are that inhumane oh wait what am i talking about like this matters to me. I mean i am upset but not that much becuase i know we can get the stuff back, it's just upsetting to know someone out there knows we were away which means they watched us. Now if thats not creepy i don't know what is.

I quit work on Sun but it was crap coz it was to Grant (Loser???) but he already knew so i it was annoying coz i couldn't do the whole "I need to talk about my future here" thing. Damn it sucked. Sun was also beneficial in allowing me to know whom i could trust with such a big decision and whom i couldn't coz they told others in under 2 secs, world record i must say.

The house we moved into looks soooo much better with stuff inside. It looks more homey i think, more cluttered....that's the way aha aha i like it aha aha...

I had bought all this food and other stuff for the sleep ova wich was rudely cancelled by an uninvited guest taking things from my house. But i did enjoy sleeping at Emz it felt good to know i could sleep ova a friends house if i eva wna come down. Well while I was at Emz i really had an urge to message Jacob but i didn't wna write the first message so Emz did. We thought he was going to take forever replying but it was sooner than expected. He was sooo cute i can still member dancing with him.....googoogaagaa. heheh (Do you wna know a secret? Oh i don't know if i should tell you? Okay i will......if i didn't hav a coldsore i would have kissed him!!!!!!!) I'm not sure why but i felt like he was the only guy that i've really really looked at and gone "hang on, there's something bout him?" Should i have said that?> I'm not sure but it was the way i felt so i can't really do anything about it can i?

I have to go now i need to catch the bus to work so MWAH and lots of hugs and kisses!!!!

Nudie, Shke Me!

So this shall be my last post for maebe a weeek so i won't really leave you with any thing special excpt that i shall come into the women's centre and rite in here as much as i can.

Packing is kinda hard coz i just don't wana do it and i do want to throw things out! When you get into the house you can't really tell we've packed up just made a bigger mess. Huh i have nothing to else to rite so i might just go unless oh ok i'll rite bout nothing.

So i've been thinking bot how much my time has been taken up and i realised not only have i missed the end of Frasier, Lost, Alias, episodes of Arrested Development, The Apprentice and more i have also missed the finale of Home and Away and is Neighbours finished well i don't know seeing as i have not watched it in two weeks! Yeah quite proud coz it makes me realise i've been doing stuff rather than staying home watching tv. "And what is that stuff you say?" well it's waking up early going to work then laying like a vegetable then listening to music coz it makes me feel better than watching tv. Coz lately it's been shth. hehe

Neglected eye contact, laughter, tears, fights, hugs and dances are just some of my experiences of the week oh and let downs. I have no intention of really being all intense and insightful with this last blog as i am tired and need to save the energy to go work. Oh talking bout work i need to change my uni bloody prefrences, apply to other jobs like Hilton Hotel they should be looking to hire start of next year and try and be more attentive to the things around me! So i didn't quit coz i swpd shift with Apple therefore i will quit and two on Sunday.

I recieved my invitation my belated invitation to Awards night and i keep pondering whether i should make the appearance and attend or just be there but not. If i do go i have to catch the bus home late and tired then i'd have to catch another bus home and walk in a dark area so i'm thinkin the answer is a big fat DNT KNOW!

Ciao lovers and i hope you miss me otherwise i really won't know but meh, should i die i want on my grave "Lived a life of music and friends" heheheh MWAH

P.s Happy Bday Mother and Lili.

Blast from the Past!

hahah i spoke to Estrella earlier after stalking her down, and she made me laugh. It was by chance, i said a word to describe what a friend and i did and she thought i ment something else. Something gross and tooo personal that i myself hate thinking about! But i found it hilarious that she actually believed it, she was all like oh really wow i never thought you would and then i told her that i hadn't and she went quiet? Dnt know why. Sooo cute she wants to catch up but somehow i think we won't see eachother til next year or later for some reason my plans just don't ever turn out so i think i shall stop planning and start be spontaneous coz plans don't happen with me unless their timed and set out.

So bot work..... i didn't quit! I decided i'm doing it Sunday coz me need the Monayh! I realised i'm getting paid exceptionally well but what more more. (Heheh can't get over what she thought ewww!!!). It was sooo boring at maccas well kinda Apple was there as well as Phbz, Zoe and what's that guys name....oh yeah Dylan. So it was fine. Wayne was the manager and told me off twice but meh i get told off more at the other place! Not really told off but things get explained.

Well i'm off to ring Vicki, Rekha (try to) and Becki. I need to tell these chickies that i am moving and that they are great! MWAH